Bitch mode on

" Why are you so serious ? "  No I am not ! I think I am one of the laziest and most laid back persons I have ever met ! It's just that what makes you laugh does not tickle my funny bones or even make me smile. And FYI, I am not supposed to be your clone.

" Why are you in the library so often ? "  I like books. They do not back-stab. They tell me newer things that I did not know before (  how many people in my surroundings can boast of doing that ? ). They smell nice ( again how many people do that ? ) And M-O-S-T importantly they do not ask stupid questions like these.

" Why do you take yourself so seriously ? " Not smiling and laughing at everything is not a crime. Again I do not want to conform to your standards of fun and awesomeness. I have mine and will stick to them, thanks !

" Do you watch TV ? " Just because I am academically inclined, it does not mean that I do not watch TV. I watch and enjoy more TV serials than you do. Oh wait ?? Is it your inferiority complex speaking ? The very fact that I can do fun stuff and yet maintain better grades than you must be galling.

" How do you study ? "  My technique differs. My approach is different. I do not mug. I do not compete and neither do i feel that studying is a burden. And yes, I do screw up exams at times.

" Do you study all the time ? " No. But I have a separate question for you - do you BURN all the time ??

Bitch mode switched off. * sighs *

A matter of right

     To say  that the problems spawned by  modernity have assumed even bigger proportions in the post-modern

era, will not really be an exaggeration. The onset of modernity allowed man ( and I do not use the word ‘man’ in

the usual universalistic way here ) to conveniently divide and segregate his activities into a public and a private

sphere. The dichotomy between the public and the private domain was lent support by liberalism which asked for

a complete delineation of the jurisdiction of the state; the state could only regulate the activities of man in the

public space while the private sphere was out of its purview.  And this is where the complications arose. As a

result of much challenging and questioning, the boundary between the public and the private does stand

problematized today, but to the detriment of women anyway. It is quite interesting to see in general, that both the

state’s intervention and non-intervention have been to the disadvantage of women. The role of the state in

furthering or weakening patriarchy however differs from country to country. The entire case of reproductive

politics, accompanied by the complex interplay of religious, moral and legal considerations, offers a good

example to study the state’s role in breaching the divide of the public and the private.

  The unprecedented politicization of individual choices like abortion and family planning has taken up many a

legislatures and policy-making bodies by storm. Specifically speaking, the idea of abortions has been able to

polarize and divide public opinion like very few issues have. Whether a woman has the right to abort a pregnancy

or plan childbirth has elicited strong reactions from religious bodies, legal groups and feminist organizations.

Whoever believes that religion has stopped playing a potent force in the politics of the first world countries only

needs to see the kind of rhetoric some so-called  ‘pro-life’ groups engage in over there. ‘Pro-life’ groups seek to

criminalize abortions (even if the conception is a result of rape or incest) and make them legally punishable as

these acts supposedly interfere with ‘God’s will’ and the ‘laws of nature’. Many of them opine that every being has

the right to live and this cannot be taken away. If the laws being promulgated by legislatures in various parts of the

world are anything to go by, then the above-mentioned views find resonance in them as well. From Chile to

Ireland, many governments all over the world have passed laws which either restrict women’s access to birth

control measures or take away  the option to terminate an undesired pregnancy legally. These actions are nothing

but  gross violations of the right of women to control their lives and to take decisions affecting their bodies

independently. In the month of June, Turkey for example saw a massive protest by its women against the plans of

its Prime Minister to pass a law against abortions and caesarean operations because these activities  were

‘stalling the country’s economic growth’. The view that the United States of America is a ‘progressive’ and

‘modern’ country appears meaningless when one views the kinds of ‘anti-women’ laws the various states have

passed in the recent years. For instance, the Republicans of the state of Georgia got a Senate-approved bill

passed in the legislature a few months back, which proposes to outlaw abortions under every circumstance after

20 weeks of conception, IRRESPECTIVE of the woman’s emotional or mental condition. While introducing the

bill, Rep. Terry England had opined  that if cows ‘can deliver calves dead or alive’, then a woman carrying a dead

fetus or one which is not expected to survive should carry the pregnancy to term anyway.The sheer absurdity of

these statements is just one indication of the widespread misogyny women have to face in the eyes of the law.

Or maybe, this is what they really mean when they say that ‘the law is blind’.

  Perhaps this moral indignation over abortion rises due to the exalted notions we have about motherhood; that a

mother is supposed to do everything possible for her ‘child’, even at great physical or psychological costs,

because she is the archetype of the sacrificing creature. And maybe this is also the reason behind the state’s

apathy to the situation. What is most  amazing is how conveniently it is forgotten that before being a wife or a

mother, a woman is first and foremost a human being who has the right to make the most out of her life and take

personal decisions feely. Thus it is unfair to thrust motherhood on a woman against her wishes. It is not

necessary that every woman has to willingly embrace the ‘gift’ of motherhood - her mind and body may not be in

the right frame to take up this task. The ‘pro-life’ groups seem to miss out on a vital point - that a mass of cells

(the fetus) cannot really take precedence over the life or wishes of a fully developed individual, the woman. Thus

to put it bluntly, bestowing personhood and all its accompanying rights on an unborn entity makes scarce sense.

By this logic, aborting a fetus is anything but ‘murder’ - they are two entirely different situations which cannot really

be compared in any way without sounding ludicrous. Surely, the fetus can be the focus of our concern, but its

‘interests’ should not override those of the woman who is carrying it. Even if we agree for a moment that the fetus

has the right to a life, can this right be exercised when somebody else’s is in jeopardy ? Is it right to tell a victim of

rape to carry her forced pregnancy to term and consequently take care of that child even if it reminds her

everyday of the horrible act of violence  that was committed upon her ? Will it  be called just to  handicap half of

the world’s population by not letting them  take decisions which affect them so personally ?

     In a society where child-rearing is inevitably saddled with childbearing, very few would deny that giving birth to

a child changes the life of the woman more decisively than it does for the man. If this point is taken into

consideration, it becomes even more imperative for the state to give women unrestricted access to reproductive

rights and health-care in order to empower them. Since giving birth to a child  is such a complex act with such

immense psychological and physical ramifications, the ONLY person who should have the decisive say in it

should be the woman who is carrying the pregnancy. A bunch of people sitting in a legislature cannot and should

not take this crucial decision for her. If only the various governments took up the issues that affect the children

who are already present in the world (like malnourishment, forced labour and trafficking) with the same fervour

with which they pass sexist, intrusive and degrading laws, these ‘gifts of God’ will have a much better future to

look forward too.

     The time has come for the state to un-occupy the bodies of the women. The body of a woman is not

supposed to be treated like an incubator to  be regulated by the state but is to be subject to her personal

sovereignty. Treating women like life-support systems of the unborn is not only humiliating but also extremely

unfair. By doing so the state not only handicaps a woman’s potential to live her life on her own terms but also

assumes a very patriarchal color - the root cause of the gross inequality between men and women. It will not be

an exaggeration to state that the state has played a potent role to institutionalize patriarchy.

     In the words of the famous American birth control activist of the 20th Century, Margaret Sanger “No woman

can call herself free who does not control her body”. Whether or not women can control such important, personal

decisions is an indicator of how ‘progressive’ society is really. Taking away these rights in the name of religion or

ethics may be convenient but it is not fair in any measure. A complete de-stigmatization of reproductive rights in

the need of the hour, something which both the state and the civil society together can establish and thereby lay

the foundation of happy and healthy families.

BURNT

   " ....... she has often been seen throwing tantrums on and off film sets. Her film producers have regularly complained about her unprofessional behavior but ironically her market value has only gone up in the recent years. Some say that stardom has gone to her head. A young starlet on conditions of anonymity said "She behaves like the queen of the world.. as if everybody is going to wait on her or something .. b&*#h !"
    She threw the magazine against the padded sides of her plush Limousine and fought back the tears. Realizing the effect that saline water may have on her make-up, she quickly reached for the tissue box and looked at her full reflection on the mirrored rear of her car. Her impeccable reflection re-assured her and  and she recalled the rave reviews her fashion sense had got last time in the leading fashion mags. The coiffure was in place, neatly sprayed to perfection. Her make-up artistes from Paris had done an amazing job yet again. Her fingers traced the 'PRADA' label on her shimmering clutch. It was going to be the same this time again. She just knew it.
     Lost in her thoughts, she had not realized that her limousine was wheeling down the drive-way towards the venue until it finally reached the point where she was supposed to make her entry. She could almost feel the flurry of excitement her arrival had created outside. It was almost palpable.
     As soon as her Jimmy Choos touched the red carpet the shutter-bugs went crazy. With the trail of her Versace gown following her every step, she sashayed down the red-carpeted walk towards the theater where her film was about to be screened. They all knew how much her photographs cost so they tried to catch various angles of her and she was as always a delight to click. Being in the lime-light brings about the best in some people and she was one of them. Like a true diva she posed and waved, coquettishly, flaunting her figure to the best of her ability.  The other celebrities had already been side-lined by her and they stood smarting in the fringes or made hasty entrances inside the theater. Clearly it was her moment. Hers and no one else's.
       As she had learnt, she did not give the photographers more than fifteen minutes and she continued cat-walking towards the theater until she almost reached the end of the walk when she started feeling that something was amiss. Generally, she would never give more than a random glance at the onlookers but something compelled her to look back at some of them. A chill went down her spine as she caught sight of  those same pair of gleaming eyes in the crowd. She nervously quickened her pace and walked towards the theater. Feeling safer away from the crowd, a sigh of relief escaped her lips.
      Another celebrity arrived- the dashing hero of the film and the attention of the cameras shifted to him. He thought gleefully to himself ," This premiere is going to be the highlight of my career so far.." Reporters requested him to give some bytes to them and he agreed. The women onlookers went in a tizzy. And blood-curdling scream tore the night air and all heads turned towards where it was emanating from. Confusion ensued. They spotted her, fallen on her knees, screaming and reeling in pain ... but  hands were covering her  face. The Security guards were trying to control a screaming disheveled man . An empty bottle of acid was rolling on the carpet.
 " CALL THE POLICE ! WE HAVE A LUNATIC TO DEAL WITH ! " 
******
    The smell of Cuban cigars had filled the office of the Assistant Chief Constable of the city. He looked at the Chief Superintendent and asked " So .. did you find any other motive behind the attack ?"
    " No Sir, he keeps repeating the same story about how he cannot stand women who flaunt their beauty in public and make a living out of it. That cunt had been following her for quite a few days in order to 'teach her a lesson' and make an example out of her. The premiere gave him a spectacular environment to carry out his 'punishment'. Bloody misogynist society ! He must be given exemplary punishment. Should we live in fear now just because somebody feels ........"
     The Assistant Chief Constable looked at her and wryly thought " The young fire-cracker women these days ... "
******
     The media had had a field day and were still waiting outside the hospital. Jokes were already doing the rounds that she would now finally have to use a plastic surgeon for her face rather than for her body. One thing was certain - her career was finished. They bigger they are, the harder they fall.

    The doctors had tried their best to relieve her of the excruciating pain but they could not, however,  prevent the corrosive liquid from irreversibly damaging her face. A small operation to save her eyes was required after which the doctors kept her under a  heavy dose of sleep-inducing drugs to delay the trauma that consciousness would inevitably cause her. This event had already caused a huge controversy and ignorance would be blissful to her. The doctors could not help but think .. " What a tragedy .. one attack is all it took to ruin this woman completely. " 

      Finally she did come around. The first thing that came out of her lips was a whisper " Give me a mirror.... I need to see " 

    The reflection of the badly scarred and mutilated face made her numb for a while. 

     And finally she screamed.  

   
   
      

Hemlock

 The rains-drops beat against the window-panes. The howling winds battered the walls of the dingy room. A harsh clap of thunder elicited a soft cry from a room nearby but he remained unpertrubed.His physical stilness was compensated by the thoughts whirring and churning in his mind. The rocking chair made small creaks every now and then.

      A soft knocking on the door brought him back from his reverie. After checking into the seedy hotel under a false name and in partial disguise, he had instructed the staff to prevent anyone from visiting him; everyone was barred .... except for the two individuals he was specifically waiting for. So even before the door opened he knew who to expect  but ironically time had somehow rubbed away their faces from his memory a little. The duo walked in. The black scarf hid her face partially but he could recognize her almond-shaped, brown eyes though age had produced creases under them. Her once-black hair had greyed considerable and he resisted the urge to run his fingers through them like he used too. Huddled next to her, was however a small raincoat-clad figure whose face he had seen ten years ago. Now that the child had grown up, he could see some amount of resemblance. As he kept staring it became more and more apparent so much so that he could not take his eyes of the child's face. Slowly it almost felt like staring at the mirror; the only difference being that the reflection was that of a much younger him. Eight years. A long  gap. His one and only child; his son. Gazing at him only made his heart heavier and made him realize the enormity of the deed that he was about to commit.

       She cleared her throat to catch his attention. It achieved its purpose. He looked at her and said " .. Life has brought you and me face-to-face again Tabitha ... How are you two ? My my ... has he grown !Hope you two did not find any problems in trying to meet me..and yes .. of course, the turbulent weather must not have helped matters for you two too .... " 

     Shaking the drops from her umbrella, she said " We are fine Gerard .. he looks like you completely .. its a shame is'nt it ... that people  have not put two and two together .... ?" She let of a small chuckle " Do not worry.. I have been pretty discreet .. after all your career is at stake. A child born out of wed-lock could strike a death blow to your political ambitions ... "  The words were enough to fling him into a torrential whirlpool of memories . Ten years back. A young, ambitious him . A turbulent, passionate affair with a head-strong woman. A rough break-up. She had later informed him via letter that she was pregnant . A child was the last thing that he wanted at such an early stage of his political career. She chose to keep the child and he his independent life. Neither parties kept in touch with each other as a part of an unspoken pact.

     Now ..twelve years on .. he knew the stakes were  higher. The Senatorial elections were due two months on and within a few years he will be running for President. He could not take the risk. Too much was in jeopardy. In fact everything was.  Years of hard-work. Money. Power. Reputation. He motioned the child to come closer to him and she gave the child an encouraging nudge. The kid shyly walked towards him and placed a small neat package in his hand. She said "  Ohh .. its a  bracelet .. he made it for you when I told him that he was going to meet you soon" He took out the charm bracelet. Simple. Hand-made. Though he never really liked accessories, he wore it.The child gave him a shy smile. 

  Looking at his son's face, the revolver in his pocket seemed to get heavier. A tinge of guilt spread in his heart but it had to be done. Two lives could be sacrificed. As the child grows bigger, so will the risks. He could not risk so much. Could not. Could not . Could not....... An intense, searing pain  suddenly shot through his wrist. His hand and feet went cold and clammy. His vision became dimmer and dimmer until complete black.

****** 

 The headlines of next day's newspaper " GERARD  SUTHERLAND FOUND MURDERED IN A LOCAL HOTEL ROOM. ---> Promising Senatorial candidate, Gerard Sutherland was found murdered in  extremely mysterious cirumstances in a discreet hotel. Post-mortem reports confirmed death by  poisoning . Doctors found a hand-made bracelet on his wrist which contained an exceptionally unique variety of  hemlock  that instantly reacted with his skin and caused  his death in minutes. The hotel staff  had not recognized Sutherland  when he had checked into the hotel  as he was in  partial disguise.  The only two visitors who came to meet him were an unknown woman and a child, both of whom came and left discreetly. The police is now investigating the whereabouts of the mysterious visitors . A possible  angle of  political rivalry is being looked into .. 

******

   She had truly tried every subtle trick in the book to hold on to him. She did not doubt whether he had really loved her; her only regret was that it had not lasted for long.She had  even cooked up the story of her pregnancy but  it had no effect on him . Though she had to let him go, finally, she could not forget. Neither could she forgive. She had always been good with children so she could easily take her friend's son on a 'trip' to play a  'secret game'. She had instructed him well and he had complied. The best part was that he did not ask any unnecessary questions too. Perfect. It was funny how easily he accepted him as his son. The mind always believes what it wants to. She did felt a tinge of regret on extinguishing his life when he was on the threshold of success... but certain things just cannot be helped.

    She looked outside the window and into the woods outside. Her eyes caught sight of the hemlock plants and she let out a cold sigh.

peculiarities

 For starters let me admit that  the person who is writing this is not Salwa Yahya .. ( that foolish girl  is so ignorant  that she does not even know that I am at this .. muhahahaha )
 Who am I you ask ? Well that does not really matter does it ?? .
 Its a funny place you know. The earth I mean. Confusing and perverse to the core !! And yes of course there are things that I do not understand  about it but so do the human beings  who actually live on it ! But of course, before I get branded as a cynic let me concede  that there is quite a lot to appreciate. One of the things that I love about this place is that  you are never alone and never unique in your  insecurities and imperfections. Some complain that there is a lack of unity here but humans have this exemplary habit of getting used to each other's idiocy that it is almost awe-inspiring.
Yes, they NAG and CRIB and that is what makes human beings so interesting  to analyze.Believe me, had you the power to look into the the minds of others you would either be rolling on the floor laughing that it would get cleaned or you would be emitting smoke from your nose and ears. ( Remember the fog that took place last winter .. it was actually smoke coming out of my ears ). My personal favorites are the hypocrites  and considering the fact that they thrive in abundance I am always spoiled  for choices. You  know the ones who will look at some one and think 'Here comes the a*****e .. that c**t .. if only I could slap him/her HARD ' but will say " Oh my dahling !!!!! Its such a pleasure to meet you .. .long time no see hun.. *muah muah* " And then there are those jerks who will make me feel that I am seeing double but they are actually two-faced. Interesting this breed is .. I know about the phrase that compares them to chameleon but chameleons do not change colors so often as them . Funny . And please do not take what I am saying personally .. none of it is directed towards you dear reader ( but on a second thought if the shoe fits then please feel free to wear it). While floating in the sky I discovered innumerable interesting thins which deserve mention. Most people in this weird place will spend money that they have not earned on things that they do not need to impress people they do not like AND  you still expect me to believe that human beings are rational . They create silly divides amongst themselves and then they complain about the situation . Worship the so-called "weaker sex"  in various forms and then denigrate, degrade and oppress them . Cut trees to make paper and then have the shockingly inane idea of writing  "SAVE TREES, SAVE MOTHER EARTH" on that very same paper . Will not have faith in their talents and thus will do whatever it takes to reach the top. Will get a degree but will still not know anything. Will  spend hours and even days thinking about "LOVE" as if it is rocket science and will at the same moment bemoan the lack of " true feelings in today's time".  The list is endless (and my fingers are paining).

   The peculiarities, the contradictions, the perversity  are ... ........ ......  OMG ! What have I done?? All this spying has ACTUALLY led to certain humanly characteristics being rubbed off  on me . No wonder I sounded just like you all throughout .... now this is a RED ALERT asking me to just SHUT UP . And in case you are still wondering about who I am then let me repeat .. it just does not matter. Well.

P.S. - please do not report this post as spam after reading the first line. You people can get pretty paranoid about these things. Its KOSHER ! :)

 
 
  
    

top four love myths - BUSTED !!!

#1 -LOVE HAS TO CULMINATE INTO MARRIAGE TO BE CALLED "SUCCESSFUL" - NO RELATIONSHIP EVER GOES WASTE .. SO EVEN IF YOUR TWO DO NOT END UP TAKING VOWS OF MARRIAGE .. ( WHAT THE HECK !! ) IT MEANS NOTHING ! MARRIAGE AT THE VERY BASIC LEVEL HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH LOVE .TRUST ME .. THE SUCCESS OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP DEPENDS ON THE EXTENT TO WHICH YOU GROW AS A PERSON DURING IT .
#2 - A GOOD LOOKING PERSON WILL OBVIOUSLY BE WITH ANOTHER GOOD LOOKING ONE - I KNOW MOST OF US ARE WIRED INTO BELIEVING THAT A PHYSICALLY ATTRACTIVE PERSON WILL FALL FOR THE SAME KIND AND WE FEEL WEIRD WHEN SEE THIS NOT HAPPENING .  .. BUT BEFORE YOU  SAY " OH MY GOD !!! IS HE ACTUALLY WITH HER ???? WHAT DOES HE SEE IN HER HUH ???!!?????  I MEAN LOOK AT HER .. EWWWWW .....!! " REMEMBER THE FACT THAT NOBODY'S SWEETHEART IS UGLY .. SO CONTENT YOURSELF WITH THE FACT THAT THE GOOD LOOKING PERSON SEES SOMETHING IN HER .. SOMETHING WHICH MOST PROBABLY YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO SEE .
#3 -JEALOUSY AND POSSESSIVENESS ARE SIGNS OF LOVE - EVER SEEN A KID WITH A LARGE VARIETY OF TOYS AND PLAYTHINGS ? ... THAT CHILD MAY GROW OUT OF THOSE TOYS AND NOT PLAY WITH SOME OF THEM  BUT ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE IF ANOTHER KID LAYS HER HAND ON IT . I KNOW THE EXAMPLE SOUNDS WEIRD BUT I FIND IT SO APPLICABLE TO SOME OF THE RELATIONSHIPS THAT I HAVE SEEN . SO BEWARE .. DO NOT BECOME SUCH A  'TOY' FOR SOMEBODY  .
#4 - WHEN YOU ARE IN LOVE YOU EXPERIENCE SLEEPLESS NIGHTS , HEAR VIOLINS PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND WHEN TALKING TO THE "ONE" AND HEAR THINGS WHEN THAT PERSON 'SAYS NOTHING AT ALL' - THIS TAKES THE CAKE !!!!! IT HAS ALWAYS AMUSED ME AT HOW MANY A TIMES CLINICAL SYMPTOMS HAVE BEEN MISTAKEN FOR SIGNS OF "LURVE" . IF U CANNOT SLEEP AT NIGHT THEN THAT MEANS YOU HAVE INSOMNIA . PERIOD . AND FOR YOUR INFORMATION HEARING THINGS WHICH ARE NOT PRESENT IN REALITY IS CALLED 'AUDITORY HALLUCINATION' , A PRIME SYMPTOM OF SCHIZOPHRENIA . SO GET YOURSELF SHOWN TO A SHRINK IF THIS IS THE CASE . :P . OF COURSE YOU CAN FEEL EUPHORIC BUT THIS MUSH IS SO NOT REQUIRED .. LETS KEEP IT SIMPLE .. WHAT SAY ??

its funny .. how we feel the loss of not getting someone or something  who or which was not meant for us in the first place. the emptiness of  such a  loss gnaws at you , filling  you with a deep sense of  restlessness and listlessness . an impasse out of which you crave to come out of . you are neither ready to move on nor do you want to dwell in the past .... the strange feeling of loss over an entity that you had desperately craved for , prayed for but in supreme irony was never meant to be yours ....